Never Too Late
by rororogers
Summary: Lou hurt Buck with her 'Savage' comment. Now she needs to apologize. Will she find out it's never too late to say I'm sorry?


**Disclaimer: Do not own Young Riders nor the characters.**

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Lou sat on the corral fence looking towards the barn where she knew Buck was basically hiding from her. He had been avoiding her since her thoughtless comment about Indians being savage because they had the Kid. She had never meant that she thought they were savage because they were Indians but she knew that is how Buck took it. She had hurt him and she needed to make things better. She needed to apologize to the young Kiowa. The problem was every time she went near him he'd walk away. How was she going to tell him how sorry she was and how much she missed his friendship if she couldn't even get near him?

Lou let out a sigh and hung her head. She just didn't know what to do. Lou was so lost in her thoughts she never even heard the person now climbing up to sit beside her coming. Lou raised her head to look at her new companion. Ike's warm smile and kind eyes greeted her.

"You want to talk about it?" he signed.

"I really messed up Ike. I don't know how to make it better." Lou said softly, her eyes focusing on the figure in the hayloft door looking out towards the horizon seemingly unaware of their presence.

Ike followed Lou's line of sight to see Buck in the hayloft looking out on the prairie. The look on his face made it seem like he had lost his best friend, but since Ike was sitting right there fine and dandy, he knew that wasn't it. Ike looked back at Lou and saw the same look of sadness on her face. He bumped her shoulder again to get her attention.

"What happened Lou?"

"I said something stupid. When Kid was missing, I said the people who had him were savages." Lou whispered to her friend.

"And Buck took it that you were saying they were savages because they were Indians. Is that what you meant?" Ike asked.

"At the time? I don't know Ike. I was upset and scared for Kid. I don't know if I meant that I thought they were savages because they were Indians or because they had Kid and had murdered people. I'm afraid that at the time I meant it because they were Indians. But now I just feel sick even thinking that way. I know, believe me I know, that the color of someone's skin doesn't make them savage; it's what's in their hearts. I look at Buck and I know that he doesn't have a savage bone in his body. He could never hurt someone just to hurt them and I bet most Indians are that way too. They was here first, we're the ones moving onto their land and taking it from them, they're just trying to protect what's theirs. I don't reckon that makes them savages." Lou explained still looking up at Buck and not Ike.

Ike tapped her shoulder to get her attention yet again, "Have you told Buck this?"

"No. Every time I go near him lately he turns around and goes the opposite direction. How am I'm supposed to say I'm sorry and that I miss him if he won't let me Ike?" Lou asked.

Ike looked back up at the hayloft; Buck was looking back down at them with longing. Ike gave him a half smile before turning back to Lou. "It's never too late to apologize Lou, just don't give up. Go up there right now and tell him."

Lou looked up to where Buck had been standing and could just make out his silhouette hidden in the shadows. He was still there and he was watching them. "I guess it won't hurt to try again." She said before hopping off the rail.

Lou took two steps towards the barn before stopping and looking over her shoulder at Ike, "Thanks for talking to me Ike. I needed a push I think."

Ike just grinned as he watched her move towards the barn. Ike halfway expected to see Buck try to jump from the loft to escape but he saw no movement indicating Buck was trying to get away. Maybe Buck was finally ready to listen to Lou. Ike crossed his fingers; he was tired of his two friends being on the outs with each other.

Lou took a deep breath as she entered the barn. She looked into the shadows of the barn, the light slowly fading outside. She didn't see Buck anywhere so she assumed he was still in the hayloft. She swallowed hard and marched to the ladder to climb into the loft. As she peeked over the edge she could see Buck, sitting on the ground leaning against a bale of hay staring out at the stars that were slowly starting to appear as dusk fell over the station. Lou climbed the rest of the way up and just stood there awkwardly watching him.

Buck knew that Lou was standing there. Not only had he seen her coming, but the fact that his whole body felt alive whenever she was near was also a dead giveaway. He refused to acknowledge her though. He may be tired of running whenever she came around but that did not mean he was going to make the first move. If she wanted to talk to him, to say whatever it is she's been trying to say for days, well she'd just have to come out and say it.

Lou just stood there quietly for a few more seconds before letting out a big sigh. "Buck could you at least look at me?" She asked exasperated that he wouldn't even turn to face her when she knew good and well that he knew she was there.

Lou saw Buck's shoulders stiffen at the sound of her voice, not the gruff pretend voice she usually used, no her normal 'girl' voice. A voice that she usually only reserved for Kid or when she was feeling especially vulnerable. Buck closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, before he look over his shoulder at her. Lou had to hold in a gasp as her own chocolate brown eyes met Buck's soulful brown ones filled with a vulnerability that she had never seen in them before.

Lou was beginning to realize just how much her savage comment had hurt him. Just how much she had hurt him. "Buck can I talk to you, please?"

"Might as well pull up a hay bale, I've got a feeling this is going to take a while." Buck answered after several tense seconds.

Lou walked over and sat down right next to Buck, leaning against the same hay bale he was. She turned her focus out onto the prairie and the darkening sky. "It is so beautiful here." She whispered.

"Yeah it is, but I doubt you came all the way in here just to talk about the scenery." Buck stated.

"No … I … uh … well… Buck I'm sorry." Lou stuttered out.

"For?" Buck asked.

"For hurting you. I never meant too. I was scared and upset when Kid was taken. I shouldn't have said what I did." Lou said looking at him.

"You really did think they were savages because they were Indians didn't you?" Buck asked not looking at her.

"At the time … yes, I'm afraid I did. I was scared, it ain't right, but I couldn't help it. I know that ain't true though. It ain't the color of your skin but what's in your heart that makes a person savage." Lou said. "You're not a savage Buck; I never meant to imply you were."

"Yes I am Lou…" Buck started to say but Lou interrupted him.

"Buck Cross you are not a savage. There is not a savage bone in your body, you'd never hurt someone just to hurt them." Lou stated, grabbing hold of his arm.

Buck looked down at the small hand on his arm. He didn't know how anybody could think she was a boy when she had such delicate hands. Breathing in deeply, all he could smell was hay and Lou, she smelled like sunshine. Buck covered her tiny hand with his larger one.

"Lou my father was a white man who took my mother against her will. She had the bad judgment of giving birth to me. You can't tell me that I'm not a savage when my father was, when I caused my own mother to be disgraced in the eyes of our tribe. How do you know I'm not just like him?" Buck asked.

"Buck would you ever take a woman against her will?" Lou asked quietly.

"No… I could never do that." Buck answered.

"And did your mother love you?" Lou asked a little louder.

"Yes... she and Red Bear, my brother, were the only ones who did." Buck said.

"Then there's your answer. If you were anything like your father, you wouldn't think twice about taking any woman you wanted, whether they wanted you or not. Your mother was not ashamed of you, you didn't disgrace her. You are NOT a savage and I'm so sorry that you ever thought I meant you were one." Lou said squeezing his arm.

Buck just continued to look down at where her hand rested on his arm, his own hand over hers. A muscle worked in his jaw as he tried to get control of his emotions. He didn't want to admit why it had hurt so bad to think Lou had thought him a savage, it's not like a hundred people hadn't called him that before. But he knew; he was starting to care about Lou as more than a friend. Something he couldn't allow himself to do. Not only was Lou, Kid's girl but she deserved better than a half breed who would never really be accepted.

When Buck still had not said anything Lou pulled her hand out from under his and put it on his cheek, forcing him to look at her. "I'm so sorry Buck, please forgive me. I miss having you in my life, I miss my friend."

Buck found himself staring into Lou's warm eyes. He had really missed her too, he missed having her in his life, and he missed being her friend. That last word stuck in his head. Friend. Yeah that is all he could ever hope for. No matter if he wanted more than friendship, friendship is all he would ever get. And he'd rather have Lou in his life as a friend than not at all. All he had to do was forgive her for thoughtless word.

Buck gulped, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. "I've missed you too." He finally whispered.

"So you forgive me?" Lou asked her face brightening.

Buck gave her his little half smirk, "Yeah you're forgiven."

Lou threw her arms around Buck's neck and hugged him tightly, Buck hugging back just as tight. "Thank you Buck, I'd never would have forgiven myself if I lost your friendship for good."

"You'll always have it Lou. Always. And I'll always be there for you when you need me." Buck whispered trying to hide the tears that threaten to fall.

"Lou, you in here?" Kid's voice called from the barn floor.

"Yeah, I'm up here!" Lou called back.

"Emma has supper on the table, you coming?" Kid called up the ladder of the loft.

"Be right there Kid." Lou hollered down, peeking over the edge.

She turned back to look at Buck. "You coming?"

"I'll be there in a minute." Buck said quietly.

Lou smiled and kissed his cheek quickly. "You're a good man Buck Cross. A good friend."

Buck watched Lou climb down the ladder to join Kid, his hand going up to his cheek. Yeah a good friend, that's really what he wants to be. He sighed and turned back to look out on the station yard. He could see Lou and Kid horsing around as they made their way to the bunkhouse. He didn't know how Emma and Teaspoon didn't pick up on their relationship.

He sighed as a large body plopped down next to him, an arm slung over his shoulder. Buck looked at his best friend, his brother and gave him a sad smile.

"You alright?" Ike signed.

Buck looked back down towards Lou and sighed again. "Yeah we're 'friends' again."

Ike shook his head, "you should have told her how you feel."

"I can't Ike. She's Kid's, besides she deserves better. I can live with being her friend. I'd rather that than nothing at all." Buck said quietly.

Ike just nodded in understanding. Maybe one day, Lou will know just how much Buck cares for her. He squeezed his brother's shoulder. Only he knew just how much Buck cared for Lou and how hard it was for Buck to stay silent about it.

"Come on; let's go eat before Cody gets it all." Ike signed after a few minutes.

Buck let out a small laugh and climbed to his feet. He had a promise to keep to a friend.


End file.
